When You Repeat the Same Thing Over and Over Again
Have you ever wondered why people go on repeating the same thing in conversations over and over? If you're anything like me, you tin't ignore the content of conversations because yous know that language can be a window to the mind.
People repeat what they say for a number of reasons in a diversity of contexts. I'm but concerned here with those instances where what they say over and over can provide clues to their psychological makeup.
Kickoff off, I want to be clear as to what specific instances I'm talking most. I'thousand not talking virtually instances where a person repeats something in a conversation because they feel they've not been heard- a person repeating their betoken in a contend, for instance.
I'grand also not talking about instances where it's obvious why the person is repeating themselves. An example would be a child repeatedly asking for candy when her mother clearly has no intention of giving 1.
The incidences I'm talking well-nigh are the ones where y'all notice that someone tells others the same matter that they've told you. It'due south usually a story of an incident that happened to them.
At present my question is: Why would they, of all topics, keep saying the same matter to the people they run into?
Earlier we delve into the possible reasons, I'd like to narrate an incident from my own life:
I and a few classmates were working on a group project in the last semester of my undergrad. We had ii assessments for the projection work- minor and major. During the pocket-sized assessment, our professor pointed out a shortcoming in our projection work.
It's natural to experience bad (no matter how slightly) when yous experience something like this. Simply what I noticed was that not all of the states in the group were affected in the same way by that remark.
While about of us forgot almost it before long after, in that location was this ane daughter in our group who was clearly more afflicted by it than the rest of usa. How exercise I know that?
Well, after that incident she kept repeating what the professor had said to near everyone she talked to, at to the lowest degree in my presence. So much and so that she fifty-fifty pointed information technology out in our major assessment despite my warning of not revealing anything that may undermine our assessment.
This intrigued and frustrated me. I confronted her and said, rather angrily, "Why practice you go along mentioning it to anybody? Why is it such a big deal to you?"
She didn't take an respond. She fell silent. Since then, I've noticed many people, including myself, engage in the verbal same behaviour.
The mind is ever trying to brand sense of things
If someone tells y'all that your friend died in an accident and gives y'all a detailed description of what happened, y'all're unlikely to ask any more questions. You lot may immediately slip into a state of shock, disbelief, or even sadness.
Consider what would happen if they only told that you that your friend died without telling you why or how. You'd desperately ask the same questions over and over till your mind makes sense of the incident (with the assist of relevant answers).
This example is pretty straightforward where you lot're repeatedly request questions to get answers. Just why would someone echo something that is not necessarily a question?
Again, the answer is the same. Their mind is trying to make sense of what happened. The event is unresolved in their mind. By repeating the same affair over and over, they desire to resolve information technology and exercise away with information technology.
Many things that we encounter on a daily basis go hands resolved (I vicious considering I slipped, he laughed because I said something funny, etc.). Only some things are not and then easily resolved and leave deep impressions on us.
Consequently, our minds go stuck in this loop of trying to make sense of them considering they haven't made full sense to the states however.
By traumas and repeating the same things
A person who has had a traumatic experience in the past may continue interim out these traumas in their dreams. Only by talking about the trauma repeatedly, trying to make sense of it, can they hope to end these dreams.
When we hear the discussion trauma we tend to think of some major unfortunate incident. Merely trauma also comes in other, minor forms. That remark our professor made was traumatic for the girl who went on to tell everyone about information technology.
When people get close to each other in relationships, they often talk about their bad past and babyhood experiences. They may not overly express how those experiences traumatized them. They may try to portray the instances as entertaining or interesting. But the fact that they're repeating these stories is a stiff indication of trauma.
Side by side time your friend says, "Have I told you this before?" say "No" even if they have, just to go a better understanding of their psychology.
Justifying yourself and repeating the same things
Frequently, the bad experiences a person is trying to make sense of, past talking most them repeatedly, involve cocky-blame. On a deep level, the person thinks that they're somehow responsible for what happened to them. Or at to the lowest degree, they had a role in information technology or could have avoided it somehow.
So when they are telling their story it's likely that they'll try to justify themselves. In doing and then, they may even distort the story and characterize information technology in such a way that clears them of whatsoever blame and showcases them equally victims.
Why practice they do this?
Nosotros're always trying to project a good paradigm of ourselves to our fellow humans, specially those who matter to us. If in that location's something in our recent or distant past that has the potential to degrade our image, we make certain that they know we're not to arraign.
This paradoxical situation of showtime blaming oneself and then trying to vindicate oneself usually happens on an unconscious level. So it'south no wonder that people keep repeating this behaviour without stopping to cocky-reflect.
It's important to think that these instances that people repeatedly talk well-nigh may not necessarily be traumatic. It could be anything they haven't yet made full sense of.
When that daughter in our projection group repeated the professor's remark, it didn't traumatize me merely it left an impression still. At the time, I wasn't able to make sense of it.
Therefore, my mind kept replaying the incident over and over and I might as well have told the same story to others over and over but I didn't.
Lucky for them, I'g oft self-reflective enough not to engage in behaviours that may reveal my psychology. So I spared them the colorlessness. I've finally told the story and attempted to brand sense of it via this article.
Hi, I'm Hanan Parvez (MBA, MA Psychology), founder and writer of PsychMechanics. I've published one volume and authored 300+ articles on this blog (started in 2014) that accept garnered over 4 million views. PsychMechanics has been featured in Forbes, Business Insider, Reader'south Digest, and Entrepreneur. Feel gratis to contact me if you have a query.
Source: https://www.psychmechanics.com/why-people-keep-repeating-same-thing/
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